Are You Easy To Love?


Are you easy to love?  Stop!!  What was your first thought?  Was it a short answer, such as; “Yes, I am” or “No, I am not easy to love?”  Or did you say, “I know I can be difficult,” or “It depends upon the other person.”  Perhaps you said, “Who cares?”  Or did scenarios of why people would find it easy or hard to love you, come into your mind?  Well, an expanded version of the question is, “How easy is it for anyone to love you?”

I asked three people, “Are you easy to love?”  Two of them (both women) immediately said, “No!”  But one of them said, “But I’m aware of it.”  That’s really interesting.  How many people have you met who would answer that question and admit to having knowledge that they are not easy to love, and that they know the reasons why?  …The third person, a gentleman needed more clarity.  He asked, “What type of love are you talking about?  3d_love_threedimensionalIf you’re talking about the love between a man and a woman, I’m easy to love.”  Then he said, “If you’re talking about agape, I cannot meet the expectations of a human.”  …I could delve further into the definition of the Greek word agape, and make a theological case to his reply; but this is not the forum.  Let’s just say, the question remains, “Are you easy to love?”

My friends, let’s rephrase the question.  “What part do you play in enabling others to love you?”    Perhaps you are saying, “I can’t make anybody love me; they’ll either love me or they won’t!”  Or are you thinking, “Everyone should love people regardless of their behavior or attitude?”  And yes, you are correct.  The scripture even tells us to love our enemies.  Yes! Yes!  But the question yet remains, “Are you easy to love?”

Do you attract or repel?

One’s outward appearance is usually the first object of another’s attraction; or lack there of (repellent).  Personality and character are also major components in these two reactions to human interactions.  Some people have an allure that draws like bees to honey.  Their very presence illuminates a room.  Some enter rooms with an, “I’m here, let’s get this party started” attitude that will spark the shyest person to loosen up.  My friend, if this is you, I’m sure that you’ve experienced opposite responses to your persona.  Some people love your out-going personality while others wish you would take a seat and zip it.  …Then there are the opposites to outgoing persons.  These are what some people refer to as the quiet storms.  And yes, if this is you, your quietness will gladden some and offend others.  Some people appreciate and admire your quiet demeanor.  While others mistake your quietness for meanness.  They don’t realize how loving you are until they have a conversation with you.  Thus, sometimes you attract and sometimes you repel.

i talked to my son J about this topic.  He said, “A person makes it hard to be loved when they don’t love something about themself.   When you have anything that you feel about yourself that you don’t like, you feel that others won’t like you. hole_in_heart I feel that until we totally love ourselves, we can’t be easy to love.  I’m not excluded.  In most of my relationships, my insecurity was that we didn’t work because I didn’t have enough money.  That’s an area about myself that I don’t love; or rather, I didn’t love.  …My attitudes came, when people knew that I was insecure in that area.  Then they started poking at me and reminding me of what I didn’t have.  My self-protection from the fiery shots came out in cheating, lying, distancing myself, partying, and any other vice.  The thought of me being easy or not easy to love didn’t even come to my mind.”


Your attitude does matter.

I don’t have many friends.  Mostly because of my being shy and so very private.  I recently had a family situation where one of my sons was locked up for traffic tickets.  His incarceration bothered me so, until I barely slept for the twenty-nine days that he was locked up.  One of his friends asked me, “Aunty, are you okay?”  I said, “I’m okay.”  We talked briefly about both of my sons, then I said, “If I talk too much about it, I might cry.”  She said, “Aunty, why won’t you talk about it?   I’m here if you need me.  You and M (my youngest) keep everything in.  You won’t talk to anyone.  Mika would talk and J (my oldest) talks, but you and M won’t.”   imageWe talked briefly and ended the conversation.  But what she didn’t realize is that her questions and compassionate show of concern caused me to think.  I pondered about how much I cut people out and handle so many people with a long-handled spoon.  I prayed about it, and wrote about my feelings of isolation in my journal.  Now as I write, I hear The Lord saying, “Rochelle you still have walls up to shield yourself from undo pain and hurt.  You stop others from entering into your space”

Oh Lord, I’m not easy to love.  I thought that only people with attitude problems were not easy to love.  But anyone can land in this category.  My friends, what about you?  Are you easy to love?

Sometimes we can make it so hard for others to not only love us; but, to even like us?  Our attitude plays a major role in how others receive and perceive us.  Have you ever met, worked with, or served with someone in ministry who everybody avoids?  Why?  Most people say that they don’t want to deal with the person’s attitude, rudeness, or bragging?  Do you know anyone like that?  Or perhaps you know someone who gets smart with you in practically every conversation?  Is it a family member, an associate, a boss or a co-worker?  Is it a supposed friend, a business acquaintance or a co-laborer in the Gospel?  Do you have an employer, boss, business partner or fellow team member who has squashed every idea that you’ve introduced?  Have you experienced being talked down to by a co-worker, leader or co-laborer in the Gospel?  How easy was it to love them?  If you find yourself in the dishing out end of any of the above scenarios, ask yourself, “Am I easy to love?”

Can you say with assurance, “Yes I am easy to love?”

My friends, please join with me and adhere to the scriptures about love.  Pray with me that you and I can love our neighbor as ourselves. (cf. Mark 12:31). Pray that you can love our enemies; and so will I about myself. (cf. Matthew 5:44)   If people avoid you, pray and ask God to show you to yourself, and to make you more approachable.  I’m going to do the same. (cf. 2  Corinthians 13:5; Jeremiah 31:3)  If we are not quite there yet, let’s speak it in advance, “Yes I AM easy to love!”

Thank you for joining me in these Thursday thriving thoughts.  My question to you again is, “Are you easy to love?”  Join me in conversation.  I’d love to hear from you.  We’ll talk soon.




Originally posted 2016-02-04 22:46:35.

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