Do You Know What You Really Want? …Why?


When someone asks you what you want, does your first thought gear towards what you don’t want?  Why?  Why is it so easy to say, “I don’t want this type of job, I don’t want this type of person, I don’t want that type of hairstyle or haircut?  I don’t want this and I don’t want that?”  Is it easy for us to say what we don’t want because of the negative experiences that we’ve had?  Or is it easy to say what we don’t want because we haven’t targeted in on what we really want?   …..For those who know what you want, and you’re on the path of receiving and achieving, STOP before you click away.  Stay with me!!  The questions yet remains.

Do you know what you really want? 

Think about it.  What drives what we want?  Is it because of the stage in our lives?  Is it because of what others have achieved, and it pushes us to want more?  Is it because of the opinions of people?  Is it because we’ve heard from The Lord?  What do you really want?  Could what people in general really want be smothered within the confines of our misconceptions of ourselves?  If so, why?

Why should you know what you really want?

Most of us care about the opinions of people:  Have you ever dressed for work, church, a business meeting, or to go out on a date?  (The date applies to singles, as well as married couples going on a date with your spouse.).   Ladies, how many times have you changed outfits before leaving the house?  It could be due to indecisiveness of color coordination or style; too tight, too short, too big or a number of other reasons.  …My brothers, how many times have you changed your shirts and ties for that wonderful suit?  And why?  A lady wants to look good for her man, and for him to tell her how lovely she is.  And a husband wants his wife to tell him how he is so handsome, debonair and just plain old fine.  Yet, when evaluations are applied to us, do we care if someone other than our loved ones have something negative to say about our appearance?  Is that a form of being encumbered by opinions of people.

Even those of us who attest that we could care less about what people think; still take the opinions of people into consideration.  Everybody enjoys positive feedback.  You know how it feels to receive a commendable performance review.  Employees love bosses to acknowledge their work.  Volunteers love appreciation and pats on the back.  We who preach, write, sing, teach, or speak publicly to help others, are encouraged when someone gives feedback, even when it’s by way of someone saying that we told them off in one of our messages.  Thus people’s opinions matter.  The key takeaway is that we should never allow others’ opinions govern what we really want.

Some people find it difficult to feel good about themselves:  Some people only see the negative side of themselves.  I really believe, that is why so many people have such a hard time receiving compliments. Now I’m not speaking of those who have false modesty.  You know the ones.  They are those who, when you show them a compliment, they say, “Who me, noooooo.”  This is all while they have a smug grin on their faces.  You know the ones.  It’s really funny when you think about it.  But there are those who truly have difficulty receiving compliments.  Why?  One of the multitudes of possible reasons is that some people just don’t see many things right about themselves.

This thought came from a discussion with one of my precious nieces.  She and I were talking, and she said, “Auntie, you have pretty hands.  I wish my hands were as small as yours.”  I said, “What?  Are you kidding me?  My fingers are extremely long!”  imageShe said, “But Auntie, your hands aren’t fat like mines.”  I said to her, “Girl, the other week you said that you don’t like the shape of your body; and that other things are wrong with you.  Who told you that your hands are too fat?  Do you feel good about yourself in any way?”  She said, “Well, I’m smart.”  I said, “That’s good, and you’re pretty too.  Stop putting yourself down.”

I thought of our conversation later.  While I was encouraging my niece, I still felt as though my hands were too long.  I prayed about it, and The Lord reminded me of how uncomfortable I feel when I have to hold someone else’s hand in church, especially when it’s a man’s hand.  I wonder, if he thinks my hands are too long.  Wow!  I didn’t realize how my perception of other people’s opinions of my hands drive my thoughts about my own hands.  A secret enemy exposed through helping someone else.  My friends, do you secretly put yourself down and condemn yourself in any way?  If so, why?

So what do you really want? Why?  And what are some specifics to your why?

My friends, it’s so important that you pray and ask God to give you clarity on your desires. What do you really want?  Let me pose some more questions for you to ponder:

  • College student, do you really want a career in the field of your major?  If yes, keep going.  But pray about it, especially if you haven’t declared your major yet. You may need to move from the College of Liberal Arts to the College of Business Administration, or vice versa.
  • Corporate employee, do you really want to work in that specific job of which you’ve applied for that promotion?  If yes, pray and go for it!
  • Single man, do you really want a wife?  Yes!  Pray!  Prepare yourself and find your wife.
  • Single sister, do you really want a husband?  Pray for contentment. Prepare yourself to be found.   …Personally, as a single woman, I want a man to find me who can embrace the intelligent side of me.  “Why is that important,” you might ask?  Because, I have dealt with men having to prove that they are smarter, or know more about the Bible than me. Who cares about all of that?
  • Evangelist, do you really want to lead that team?  Well, if God told you to, it doesn’t matter what you want. Obedience is key.  But if you want to lead for reasons other than through the direction of The Lord, well…..
  • Elder, do you really want to pastor?  If God called you, pray and go for it.
  • Sister in the Lord, do you really want that appointment?  If God said it, pray and go for it.
  • Brother in the Lord, do you really want that business opportunity?  If so, pray and go for it.

My friends, it is a blessing to know what you really want.  Yet it is a wonderful blessing to yield and allow The Lord God to show you what you really need.  And, I truly believe in praying for a release from God in all things, and then speaking with my pastor before I make major decisions.  I’ll leave you with scriptures that help me.  Romans 8:27, 28 says, “Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities:  for we know not what we should pray for as we ought:  but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.  And he that searcherh the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”  (KJV)

Thank you for joining me in these Monday moments of reflection.  The questions yet remains:  “Do you know what you really want? Why?”   What are your thoughts?  Join me in conversation.  I’d love to hear from you.  We’ll talk soon.



Originally posted 2016-01-11 23:57:11.

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