How Desperate Are You?


What’s your first thought to the question, “How desperate are you?”  Are you thinking, “WHAT?  Who me?  That word Is not on my list of characteristics of myself!”  So let’s change the question to:  “Have you ever been desperate?”  Is your response still the same?  Yes?  Why?  Is it that your view of desperate drives your answer, and you can’t fathom associating yourself with such an unflattering description of yourself?  Why?  Do you equate desperate to having lost hope, or moved by despair?  That’s the norm; but, there is more to the word than discouragement or dismay.  Think about it.  Perhaps it is possible for desperate to associate with something good.  But how?  …Before we dive into how desperate can link with positivity, let’s look at a few points.

What drives desperation?

I asked four young adults in their mid to late twenties to tell me what the first thing that comes to their mind by the question, “How desperate are you?”  Their totally unparalleled responses evoke thought and conversation:

  • Mel:  “It goes past all measures.” – …Wow!  That’s pretty deep.  I’m not exactly sure of what he meant; but his short answer spoke volumes.  I suppose his mind was racing in multiple directions.
  • Mindy:  “The first thing that comes to my mind are cougars.”  Then she said, “What’s wrong with me?  Why did my mind automatically go to desperate old women.  When you’re fifty years-old (a man or a woman) and you’re dating an eighteen year old, something is clinically wrong with you.  So is it desperation or a clinical issue?” – …STOP!  Stay with us.  This is not an attack.  It’s merely an opinion of a sweet young lady.  Shouldn’t we all have our opinions?  …We discussed  differences in maturity levels, celebrities like Patti and Mariah, and the age of their beaus.  We also talked about possible reasons; along with the pros and cons; of why older men date younger women and why older women date younger men.  My profession is not in clinical psychology. image But it is my opinion that there are multiple actions that may or may not fall into the categories of desperation or behaviors that are clinically driven.  I said to her, “I’m not a cougar; I’m not interested in men the same age as my sons.  However; some twenty-seven years ago, before I surrendered my life to The Lord, I dated a man six years younger than me.  At the time, I was dealing with the aftermath from a ten-year abusive relationship, and I didn’t feel good about myself.  So when this younger man relentlessly pursued me, I succumbed to his advances; because, among other reasons, his attention caused me to feel attractive again.  Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why older women date younger men.”  …This is interesting.  As I write; the thought of why younger women marry men old enough to be their daddy or granddaddy; or vice-versa, comes to mind.  But that’s a topic for another post.  Let’s focus back on today’s topic:  “How desperate are you?”
  • Sha:  “Very!  Get it by any means necessary. Because I’m anxious.  I’m so hungry for what I want.” – …Her determination has a “Let’s go” vibe.  This young lady has so much in her that’s untapped. All she needs is for someone to help her give birth to her dreams.
  • Justin:  “I’m not desperate!  Then, I am desperate.  My pride says, ‘I’m not desperate.’ But when I think about all that’s going on, I realize how desperate I am.” – …I can only imagine what scenarios he was thinking of.  But it is interesting how he attributed pride as the dictator of his lack of admittance to being desperate.  Also it’s good to admit being desperate.
  • You:  What is your response to the question, “How desperate are you?”

My friends, how would you react to today’s question?  Would the question cause you to think introspectively and ask yourself, “Am I desperate?  If I am, why, and is that a problem?  If I’m not, is that a hindrance?  In what areas in my life should I be desperate?”  Or would the question spark thoughts of things you want?  Would it remind you of the actions of others that bother you?  Does it launch you into a whirlwind of thoughts?  Well….

Perhaps, it’s time to get desperate!

At the beginning of this writing, I introduced the thought:  Perhaps it is possible for desperate to associate with something good.  But how?  According to Merriam-Webster, besides, having lost hope; and giving no ground for hope; two definitions for desperate are: suffering extreme need or anxiety; of extreme intensity.   These last two explanations allow desperate to become a helper to aim towards good.  How?  Think about it,   Sometimes the problem with us is that we aren’t desperate enough to have the intensity to press through our obstacles towards reaching our goals.  But, it’s time to allow the frustrations and sufferings of extreme needs in life to push us.  Yes, push you and me from the brink of hopelessness to extreme intensified action to believe, go, grow, achieve and receive!  Some people may label your determination as rashness: but I’d like to think of it as attentive exuberance  or Boo Yah!  Because when you get desperate, you are holding on to what Paul told the church of Philippi in Philippians 4:13.  It says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  (KJV)

Oh yes it is time!  Are you…

  • Desperate to do what God is calling you to do:  You may have ignored the  voice of The Lord for a long time.  You’ve seen others take the plunge and step out on what God told them to do.  You’re tired of being afraid; and now you’re more than ready to pursue your dream and do your part in making disciples of all people groups.
  • Desperate to taste hope, joy and happiness:  You may have experienced so many tragedies and struggles until you’ve lost your laughter, your expectation, your joy, and your smile.  But now you are determined to do whatever it takes to experience happiness in serving The Lord.
  • Desperate to live in contentment:  You may have allowed the enemy to taunt you with what you don’t have, or with what God hasn’t done yet. But now, you are desperate in learning and practicing contentment in all facets of your life.Woman running2451-1270390951iO8m
  • Desperate to live, let go of the world’s view of success, and walk in good success:  You may have become tired from living in mediocrity, and chasing success according to the world’s standards.  The world seeks attention; measures success on material gain;  lifts themselves up; and compromises standards of holiness.  But you realize that it is God who blesses and gives good success when you meditate on his laws.  It is God that has given you gifts.  You realize that to live means to live how God has called you to live.  Live abundantly; enjoy good success; have peace; contentment; and dominion.
  • Desperate to have a relationship with God:  You may have continuous warfare and thoughts that God doesn’t care.  You may hear constant talk from doubters and non believers on your jobs, in your home, in the media, at the grocery store, in the beauty salon, in the barbershop or even in the church; and your trust is waning.  But now you are hungry to get back into reading and meditating on the Word of God and remembering what His Holy Word says.
  • Desperate to walk by faith, not by sight:  You may have become tired of living in fear of the bill collectors, the legal notices, or the doctor’s diagnosis; and not trusting God in every area of your life.  But now you are determined to see what you are believing God for through your spiritual eyes.  You’ve completed that application, you’ve enrolled in college, you’ve applied for that job,  you’ve completed those corporation papers, and you’ve started that ministry.  And now, you are just waiting in anticipation for the manifestation.
  • Desperate to kneel before the throne of grace:  You may have become used to coming home after a long exhausting day, and just saying, “Thank you Lord for today,” and going to bed without getting on your knees.  Or perhaps you’re accustomed to waking up in the morning, telling The Lord, “Thank you for waking me up,” and going about your day.  The empty feeling has overwhelmed you.  And now, you are anxious to bow down before The Lord, and spend quality time in prayer, praise and worship.
  • Desperate to touch Jesus so that you might be made whole:  Just like the woman with the issue of blood pushed her way through the crowd. She didn’t consider being ostracized, criticized, or stoned because of her issue.  She had reached her wit’s end, and was now focused on touching the hem of Jesus’ garment.  Touching Jesus is all that matters to you now.  You are desperately focused on blessing and communing with The Lord.
  • Desperate to use your platforms to give God glory everywhere:  Some of us have influence on multiple fronts.  That’s on the job, in ministry, in careers, in school, at the universities, in our homes, and among our family members.  Yet, we have slipped in the area of allowing God to shine through us.  But now, our only agenda is to make sure that God gets glory and that His Will is carried out in our lives and areas of influence.  We always remember Matthew 28:19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” (NRSV)
  • Desperate enough to keep lifting up the name of Jesus no matter what:  Even when people misunderstand and don’t know what God has commissioned you to do, keep going.  Keep lifting Jesus up before all men, women, boys and girls.

My friends, thank you for joining me in these reflections.  I pray that they are a blessing to you.  Do me a favor and share this post with your friends, family and neighbors.  Ask this post’s title question to them and discuss it among yourselves.

Also, I need your help!  Let me know of areas where you see opportunities for improvements to this blog; or if there are specific subjects that you’d like to discuss.  Again, the question is, “How desperate are you?”  Join me in conversation.  I’d love to hear from you.  We’ll talk soon.



Originally posted 2016-02-09 20:17:56.

Comments: 2

  1. I love this blog it has me really thinking I’ve always looked at being desperate in a bad way but I’ve got s totally different outlook on it now great read!

    • Rochelle L. says:

      Thank you Tiarrah (Precious)! My prayer is for the writings to spark thought and bless those who read. This was a difficult post to write. I thank The Lord for your comment.

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