Originally posted 2018-02-02 11:42:50.
Hi!
Have you ever gotten angry with yourself for doing something you shouldn’t have? I know you’re saying, “Who hasn’t?” You can chalk up doing that thing once or twice to mistakes. But do you agree, that three or more times is a pattern?
What about staying in a toxic relationship; when clearly it isn’t working? Breaking up; getting back together; breaking up again; just to get back together; so you can break up again. It has become so routine until you subconsciously like the rush of the peaks; after the valleys.
One of Webster Dictionary’s definitions of pattern is: “a reliable sample of traits, acts, tendencies, or other observable characteristics of a person, group, or institution a behavior pattern spending patterns the prevailing pattern of speech.” One of Webster’s definitions of addicted is: “Strongly inclined or compelled to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly addicted to chocolate addicted to (watching) soap operas.” So, my friend; isn’t it plausible that when people break up; make up; just to break up again; so that they can make up; it’s a pattern from addiction?
My brother Marvin had a heroin addiction. He often tried to kick the habit on his own. Marvin would spend days in his room; sweating; crying; and groaning. When he occasionally came out of his room; his nose would run. He was always sniffing. One day, I asked him; “How does it feel when you need a fix.” Marvin said, “Sometimes it feels like something is crawling under your skin; traveling throughout your body. Other times your body aches all over. It’s torture.”
Marvin’s addiction had a love/hate attraction. Though he didn’t like the withdrawals; or attacks on his body and mind that the habit caused; he enjoyed the euphoric high from heroin.
The question is; “Why?” Why did Marvin keep taking himself through those ups and downs? Was the intoxicating feeling from the heroin worth the pain of the withdrawals? Or, was it too hard to quit; and he just kept using to ease the pain?
Why do people do things for the temporary joy; just to regret it later?
Though, this is a stretch from Marvin’s situation; let’s liken it to eating a half-gallon of ice cream in one sitting. Now you know you’re fifty pounds overweight; and you have a donut around your waist. Why would you set yourself up for that emotional regret; and put down? Is it something bothering you that makes you eat 4 pop tarts in one sitting? Psychologist call it. “Emotional eating.” Eating takes your thoughts away from what’s bothering you.
Perhaps you have a tendency to put off important business matters. Then you scramble to take care of them at the last-minute. Why cause yourself such unnecessary stress? Is it the rush of anxiety; coupled with the thrill of it coming together? Maybe you paid your credit cards off; then you over-extended your credit; and messed up your scores; again. It was joyful to shop till you dropped. But, now you’re angry and disappointed with yourself; because, it took you years to straighten your credit out. You’re frustrated from the collectors calling nonstop; again. What is it? Habits!! They’re just bad habits; dilemmas or addictions associated with things.
But, what if your addiction is a person?
What about when your situation deals with a love interest? Have you ever been so into a person until you just didn’t know why? Especially when nearly every time you get together; your good time is cut short by an argument. One person says or does something that the other thinks is stupid or unforgivable. This is not just relegated to women who stay with men for years who won’t commit. There are some brothers out there who keep going back to women who put them down; and take them on emotional roller-coasters. But why? Why can’t you shake them? I know; you believe it’s love. But is it?
Is it love? Or is it an addiction?
I remember, years ago, when I thought I was in love with the man of my dreams. We had wonderful times together. He was the last thing I thought about at night; and my first thought in the morning, But our bad days began to outweigh our good days. We went back and forth for years. When we finally cut it off for good; my heart didn’t let go. He tried to get back. But, even though I refused him most of the times; my heart ached for him.
One day, it hit me. “Is he the love of your life; or is he an addiction?” I realized; it was a habit; and he was the substance. Like my brother Marvin described his withdrawal symptoms; I was having my own withdrawal symptoms for that man. They weren’t the same as Marvin’s; but they were withdrawals. My body ached for him. I yearned to hear his deep voice. My nose ran from crying. I preferred to chance the arguments, and have a good time with him; and not ache from longing for him.
It didn’t matter how I spent days frustrated over our bickering. The euphoria I experienced from our times together kept me going back; no matter how toxic the relationship. Addiction to the ups and downs had a grip on my psyche. Don’t misunderstand. It wasn’t one-sided. I liked arguing back then. I thought it was love. But thank God for deliverance!! Today, I’m free to enjoy real love.
Was it love? Or, was it an addiction?
Maybe it was an addiction. But unlike heroin; an old love can change from having ungodly ways; to being renewed in Christ. God can allow you and the object of your past addiction to spend time apart; so He can work on the both of you. God might bring someone entirely new into your life. Yet, God just might allow that new person to be the one who was once your addiction. My sister, that man could’ve changed in Christ. My brother, that lady could’ve changed in Christ. Wow! This thought reminds me of a scripture; “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV
There’s nothing too hard for God. Just make sure you love God more than anything and anyone.
Here’s another scripture that comes to mind. “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 GNT
My friend; I’ll leave you with this thought: “How does addiction make you think it’s true love? But even so; I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE! Don’t you?”
Thanks for joining me today! We’ll talk soon.
Blessings!
Rochelle
