How Does Pain Help You?

Hi

Do you believe pain has a purpose?  Even though, we don’t always initially see the purpose; there is one.  Someone coined the phrase, “The most beautiful things, messages, speeches, books, etc. will come out of pain.”  At the risk of sounding a bit oxymoronic, here’s a thought.  Though I can personally relate to this quote; it still leaves me with the question, “How does pain help?”

I venture to say, “First we must grasp the concept that pain is not always a bad thing.”   Pain, at times, is a signal that something is wrong.  Other times, pain comes to let us know it is time.  Just as a mother goes through labor pains when the baby is ready to come; so is the same for those who need to birth their purpose.

We need painful events. They prepare us for, and push us to our next place.  Sometimes it takes getting our feelings hurt so we can get unstuck.   We hold on to things and people; when clearly; we know we should let them go.

Purposeful pain pushes.

Pain brought on by financial trouble can help push you toward wiser spending, discipline; and ultimately to prosperity.   Pain caused by you being sick and tired of living from paycheck to paycheck, will push you out of your place of comfort.  …Some of us enroll in college; and plan to step into our career.  Some people uncover the marketability of their polished gifts and talents.  They transport advice they have given out for free over the years into book form and sell it.  Others unleash their creativity through using what they have.

I recently spoke with a millennial who lives in a city where a lot of tourists travel.  To obtain passive income, she rents her home out on weekends; and stays at a friend’s.  She has certain dishes and linen that she puts out for her weekend tenants.  She places her everyday things in locked closets and storage, when she leases her home.  That’s bold; but it earns her a substantial amount of extra income each month.  Her unique entrepreneurial gesture was born through pain. 

Pain can come from the most unexpected places.

I’m dealing with being rejected by someone dear to my heart.  Since my six-year-old grandson’s birth, he has always been attached to his Gaga.  Before his mom (my daughter) passed away; she would tell me of how he cried because he wanted his Gaga.  She once laughingly told me, “Mama, I have never seen a child so attached to his grandmamma.  When we drive down the road; he cries when we don’t turn down the street to go to your complex.”

My daughter was a first grade teacher. She asked me to take Jordan to his first day of pre-school; because, she couldn’t take off work.  When she got too sick to work; she would come pick me up everyday to ride with her to take Jordan to and from preschool.  Since my daughter’s death, Jordan has spent a lot of time with me.  We’ve shared a lot of his firsts.  But recently, near the eve of the third year of his mommy’s death, my grandson barely wants to come to my house.  Initially, it threw me for a loop.  I even cried privately.  I just didn’t understand.  

But pain sometimes brings clarity.

When Jordan came back over, he said, “Gaga, my other grandma lets me stay up and watch tv.  You make me go to bed.” Then he said, “Gaga, when I’m bad, you get mad and sometimes you whip me.”  I replied, “Jordan, I’m not a kid; you have to do what’s right.”

Then I talked with my sons about it. They both gave me good, sound advice.  Justin wittingly said, “Mama, he will never forget  what you’ve taught him.  Children remember love AND correction.  He will appreciate your discipline when he is older.  Besides, you just had a mini-stroke in October.  You need to rest.”
Melvin gave me a rational perspective. He said, “Mama, it is not you.  You rarely whip Jordan.  He is at that age where he doesn’t want to follow rules. That’s all it is.”  That made me laugh.  Anyone who knew Melvin as a child, is probably saying, “Melvin ought to know.”

The pain from missing Jordan has fueled my pain from grieving the loss of Mika even more.  But God is so awesome. The Spirit of the Lord spoke to me and said, “Rochelle, you have taught Jordan many things.  You listened to him tell you what he had on his mind.  You imparted into him the routine of going to church.  You read to him.  But most importantly, you taught him how to get on his knees and say his prayers in Jesus’ name.  You have done your part.  Now I’m preparing YOU for YOUR next.”

God confirmed what He told me.  One evening, Jordan called and said, “Gaga, I’m going to come to your house another day.”  I said, “Jordan, I’m okay.  I love you.  Don’t forget to pray.” He excitedly said, “Okay Gaga, I love you too.  I pray over grandma’s house.  Bye.”  That did my heart good.  It wasn’t a goodbye; but a see you later.  We’re both okay.

How can pain push you into walking into your destiny?

My friends, pain will push you into doing what God has told you to do.  When you have physically hurt for too long; won’t you make a doctor’s appointment?  And when you go; doesn’t the doctor give you the prognosis, and tells you what to do?    That’s what happens when life brings those who live for Jesus pain.  It pushes us to God, the greatest physician who isn’t practicing.  God, the Holy Spirit leads and guides us into what we need to do.

Pain pushes you to your knees.  In prayer, God will give you instructions on how to prepare for your next.  Even though He doesn’t always tell you what your next is; It behooves you to listen to The Lord.  Don’t take it lightly when God tells you to color coordinate your clothes and shoes.  Don’t brush off the small voice telling you to practice salutations  in the mirror.  Don’t ignore that intense whisper telling you to read your Bible now or pray more.  Don’t brush past, the Spirit uttering, “You can do all things through Christ.”  Don’t overlook the nudges God gives you to finish that Associate, Bachelors, Masters, PhD; or send that manuscript to publishers.  Don’t ignore the thoughts to study certain categories like, faith, tithe, love, fear, disciple making, or worship.  Take notice of how buying books on women’s helps, investing, or leadership comes into your spirit.  God is up to something. Oh yes, pain drives you to your next; if you’re willing to go.

My friends, thank you for joining me today.  Writing this post has blessed me to meditate on Isaiah 61.   Verse 3 says, “To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.”  Praise God!

I’ll leave you with this question, “How does pain help you?”  Think about it.  We’ll talk soon.

Blessings!

Rochelle

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