Part II – “Can You See Your Strength During Your Toughest Moments?”

Hi!

Did you read Part I?  If not, please read it, so you can have a better understanding of where we’re going with this writing.  If you read Part I, great!  …Did it cause you to think about difficult situations that you’ve lived through?  Do you see how the Lord was with you even when you didn’t think He was there?  Do you see the size of your dependence upon the Lord?

In Part I of this series on tapping into your strength during your toughest moments, we touched on how writing is therapeutic.   What do you say about that train of thought?  Think about it.  Have you ever jotted down your thoughts, and came across your writing at a later time?  Did you see the benefits of writing what was on your mind?  Did you see your growth, your stagnation, or your need to change?  Did you see how journaling was a way of releasing the pain; and a canvas for reflecting.  Especially when you get it wrong; writing and reflecting helps your need to see what The Lord is really trying to convey to you.

I’m so elated that the Lord guided me to write during the most devastating experience of my life.  Sharing my thoughts of my daughter’s last days and her transition into eternity to be with the Lord is so liberating.  img_1135This continuous rereading has ushered me into realizing that journaling helps keep the rough times from taking over.  It helps you see how the Holy Spirit guides through overwhelming times.  Think about it.  Prayer, standing on God’s Word and journaling in the midst of a major life-altering storm are tools to help you sail through rough terrains.  My friends, I invite you to stay on this journey with me to see how The Lord can strengthen YOU in the midst of trying times. 

Here’s Part II:

Thoughts While Tamika was in ICU and After Her Transition (Feb 14, 2015, 6:40 am – Rename this writing – Mika Is Free??? or After Losing My Daughter: My New Normal???)

Saturday, May 31, 2014  @ 4:16 am

– Sitting in Tamika’s room in chair. She thought Justin was still here. She said in a soft voice, “Justin.”  I got up and told her that Justin was gone, and then put her leg like she wanted it.  I got teary eyed by hearing her call Justin’s name.
img_0335– Melvin called while I was helping Mika, and I told him she had said Justin’s name.  He said, “Aww I’m coming up there.”

– Then I called Justin and told him she had called his name.  He said for me to tell her that he was sorry he had to leave and he will be back. Then he said he’s teary eyed.

– Awwwww!  My three babies.  Lord please bless them.

Sunday, June 1, 2014 @ 5:51 pm

– As I sit here reflecting upon what James said happened to Tamika earlier. We almost lost her but she bounced back. Thank you Jesus. – Tamika is now just resting and sleeping.  As I look at her, I hear The Lord telling me to not go by what I see, but to believe God. – The Lord is increasing my faith. Thank you Jesus.

Monday, June 2, 2014 @ 5:27 pm

– Just got here to see my daughter today at 5:00 pm.  She’s sitting up in chair but has a sad and frustrated look on her face.

– Lord she’s so tired.  Please help her now Lord.

– Lord, please, please, please, please, please please help her Lord.

– The catheter that they just put in yesterday is oozing.  Lord please help her.  Please Lord.  Please Lord.  Please Lord.  Please Lord.

– Jesus please send your healing virtue to Mika’s body, mind and heart.  Please Jesus.  Please.

9:26 pm

– While the nurses change and clean Tamika, I hear The Lord saying that he has a way of removing all elements of pride out of us in any situations.  Tamika’s apparent frustration in this situation is going to allow her to minister the spirit of humility to others who need it.

– Tamika is very strong and independent; and this has to be totally agonizing for her.  But when she gets through this she is going to be powerfully anointed to minister to the people of God.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014 8:51 pm

– As I read the above, now I know that I was wishing in believing.   The Lord was not telling me that Tamika would minister to people about pride.  That scene is what I will need to write about in the book, “The Many Faces Of Pride!”

– That’s why I prayed the below prayer afterwards.  I saw death on my daughter, but didn’t want to receive what I saw.

…..Back to Monday, June 2, 2014…..

– Lord please help Tamika.  Please heal her body and her wounded soul.  Help her Lord.

9:45 pm

– Tamika’s dialysis machine keeps alarming.  Then they keep looking at her catheter.  img_0682What is this Lord?   Why so many problems Lord? Why is my daughter going through this Lord?  Why?  I just don’t understand this.  It’s literally impossible for me to understand Lord. Why?  Why Lord?  Why Tamika Lord?  She has already suffered for so long Lord.  She has a husband and 3 1/2 year-old baby boy Lord. Why?  Why Lord?

10:47 pm

– Lord I love you so much.  I wish I knew you more. I realize that perhaps I really don’t know you.  I just don’t understand. And I no longer want to try.  But I do believe that you’re able to bring Tamika out.  Please Lord.  Heal Tamika.  Or let her healing manifest.  Please dear Lord

June 13, 2014 @ 6:27 am

– As I sit here on my sofa and read the above, I hear The Lord telling me how he spoke to me three times the night before Tamika died saying, “Rochelle she’s dying!”  But, I just couldn’t receive it.  I blamed the devil for speaking doubt in my spirit.  But I heard The Lord telling me that my baby was dying.

– Looking back, I remember The Lord explaining the scripture you shall not die but live and declare the works of The Lord. The Lord explained to me that shall not die did not mean not transitioning from this world.  But everlasting life is shall not die.  We may leave this life on earth; but we will live forever with God.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014 @ 6:18 am

– Father God in the name of Jesus. Thank you for this day. Thank you for a mind to seek you and a heart to trust you. Thank you for the activities of my limbs.  Thank you for peace, joy, love, hope. – Lord forgive me for questioning you so much last night.  Dear Lord I trust you.  You have allowed this situation with my daughter to transpire.  And I trust you to work it out. – Have your way dear Lord. – Lord no matter how it looks, I still believe that you are able to bring Tamika out.  And I hope that you will. – Jesus you are the resurrection.  Please call Tamika forth out of this dire situation.  Please bring her out.

(Feb 24, 2015 – as I read what I prayed the morning that Tamika died, I see that I prayed for The Lord to bring Tamika out.  And that is exactly what He did.  I didn’t want to see my daughter suffer any more, and Lord you did answer my prayers.   Today, Feb 24, 2015 at 6:27 a.m., I have peace with the scripture, “Whatsoever you ask in prayer believing, that will you receive.”  And Lord I hear you telling me now also that the reason that I can accept this and my sons haven’t yet, is because they need to be saved.  I hear you saying, “Rochelle look how long it took for you to hear and accept that scripture.  Just think how Justin and Melvin are hindered.  They are not saved.”  So Lord I ask you to please save my sons souls.  Don’t let them remain in there sins and one day die and go to eternal damnation.  Please Lord. Please!)

…. End of insert and back to where writing was on June 3, 2014…..

– I am listening to the Bible on my phone right now and it keeps repeating Psalm 7. “O Lord my God in thee do I put my trust……” – I need to keep hearing this so it can get it in my spirit.  I need to put my trust in you O Lord. – Dear Heavenly Father.

You are in control.  Have your way.  Lord this is not a distress question.

But how do I find you in this situation with my daughter?  Are you right here in every breath she breathes? img_3165 Are you in her skin color change?  Are you in each cough that she coughs?  Are you in the distressful look on her face?  Are you in this ICU room 257 dear God?

– I hear you saying O Lord, “Yes I am!  I’m allowing Tamika to breathe.  I am allowing her skin to stay smooth in the midst of the color change.  I am giving her strength to cough up phlegm from her throat.  I am in her brain allowing her to think of how she feels. I am in this room 257 keeping Tamika alive and watching over her and directing the medical staff.”

– Dear Lord you are the great I am. – Thank you Lord for being in every heart beat.

– You dear Lord are all-knowing, all-powerful.  And you are everywhere at all times.  Have your way O Lord my God, whom I put my trust.

6:51 am

– Dear Lord God in the name of Jesus I come to you thanking you praising you and lifting you up.

– Lord I have been praying for Tamika. Now I need to make sure I plead to you for my sons as well. Justin and Melvin Lord. Please don’t allow them to become alcoholics or drug addicts. Please don’t let them go down the path to destruction. Please lead them and guide them to the path of righteousness. Please help my sons Dear Lord. Please help them to prosper be in good health and their souls to prosper. Please Lord. – Dear Lord.

Look on James and Jordan.

7:18 pm

– As I sit here next to Tamika’s bed praying. I say “Thank you Jesus!”

– Lord thank you for Evg. Doris E. calling me this afternoon. Her words of faith and a scripture references really encouraged me. Lord Evg. E.’s words were confirmation that I had heard from you O Lord.

– I need to obey you more. You placed Evg. E.’s name in my spirit several days ago to call her. But I didn’t. Lord please forgive me. And thank you for placing me in her spirit to call me when she did. I was feeling very down. And her words encouraged me so so much.

– I believe YOU God. You said whatsoever I ask in prayer believing. That I will receive. I asked you to heal Tamika and raise her up to live right on this earth so that she can be a witness. And Lord I believe. So Lord. I believe that’s what I will receive. Amen.

June 27, 2014 @ 6:43 am.

As I reread the above prayer, I wonder what’s the use. That doesn’t apply to me. I asked believing and it didn’t happen. What’s the use. I no longer want to ask. What’s the use? Really. What’s the use? I am so angry this morning. What’s the use?)

…Back to Tuesday, June 3, 2014 @ 10:08 pm…

img_0281– Doctor told us possible brain bleed; but Tamika is critical; and they can’t take chance of test.  And if a brain bleed, they won’t do surgery because too great a risk.

– Lord I still believe you are going to bring Tamika out of this.

– Lord I thank you in advance for healing Tamika. Turn it around Lord. Please Lord. Please Lord. Please Lord.

My friends, thank you for joining me in Part II of this trying journey. Here are some questions.  “Can you see your strengths during your toughest moments?  Does your hope in The Lord increase or wane during hard times?  How can your continuous faith in God help your loved ones while they are transitioning; and those who are going through with you?  Can you trust in God, even though things didn’t turn out the way you wanted?  Do you see The Lord working in your life in the midst of everything you go through?  AND, how deep is your love for The Lord?  …Thank you again.  I love you dearly.  We’ll talk soon.

Blessings!

Rochelle

Originally posted 2016-11-25 18:03:53.

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