Do You See A Revival of Your Thanks?

Originally posted 2019-12-02 17:15:04.

Hi!

Have you ever been so appreciative until it brought tears to your eyes? That is how I felt the day after Thanksgiving this year. Thursday, 2019 was the best Thanksgiving I have had since 2013. At first, I wondered, ‘Why?’ But, after much reflection, now I get it.

I no longer feel sorry for myself from losing my only daughter in 2014, and losing the only sister I knew since childhood in 2016. I no longer dwell in self-pity for being the youngest and lone survivor of four siblings. I no longer feel abandoned, because both of my parents, and my childhood household are all gone.

This year, I have a greater appreciation for who God allowed to be with me to celebrate the holiday. My two handsome sons, my two precious grandsons, my pretty niece, my adorable great niece and nephew, my son’s best friend who calls me ‘Ma,’ my niece’s children’s dad, and my son’s dad were all here. I am in such a good place, until I was even prepared for my ex to bring his plus one. He came alone, bearing apple and sweet potato pies, and vanilla Haggen-Dazs ice cream. Praise God!

What happened to spark a revival of thanks?

Sometimes we need to peek at past pains, realize how they did not spill over into today, and shout, “Thank you Jesus!” This year, I did not feel the pain of my daughter not being here to help me cook, or be my taster. I did not feel sad because my grandson Jordan did not have his mommy with us. I did not worry while dealing with a headache from the brain surgeries. 

Thanksgiving has always been our time of gathering together to eat, laugh and love. Yes, we are thankful throughout the year. Giving God praise and thanking Him daily is the norm. But Thanksgiving comes with special expressions of joy, and a house filled with the aroma of tasty delectables. I am so glad our tradition is revived and renewed. How was this year different than the last five Thanksgivings?

Freshly coming out of a storm is one of the reasons for having so much joy this year.

In July of this year, my gas was turned off. I had fallen behind on bills, and forgot to pay the gas bill. One Friday afternoon, I came home from the Women’s Day service of our jurisdictional Holy Convocation and saw a note from the gas company on the door. My gas had been disconnected while I was at church praising God. But, it did not stop me. That evening, I went back to church as if nothing happened.

Spending four months boiling water to bathe and wash dishes; and one month heating the house with an electric heater was mind boggling. But it sparked reasons for thanking God. During that time, I thanked God for my sons, grandsons, nieces, nephews, water, lights, a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, a stove, refrigerator, food, a car, clothes, having a reasonable portion of health, AND for a heart to serve the Lord. I also made daily declarations that my gas was back on. My heart of appreciation for what I do have increased tremendously during that rough period. Thank you Father God, in the name of Jesus, stayed in my heart and poured out of my mouth.

I did not tell anyone about my gas situation. I just prayed to God daily, for provision and deliverance. I tried my best to keep my dilemma from my sons. They did not find out until mid October. Then two days before Thanksgiving my stove went out. But, God is faithful. The day before Thanksgiving, my gas was back on, and a new stove was delivered. I went to church that Wednesday night with an overwhelming ‘Thank you Lord’ in my heart.

Thanksgiving Day was filled with thankfulness.

My grandson, Jordan called me Thanksgiving morning and asked if I would pick him up. He is nine years old, and a big boy. He and I rode to Kroger, and he asked me to buy him a toy. Some things do not change. But, I think his asking me to buy him a toy was familiar to both of us. Jordan was happy to be with his Gaga.

This Thanksgiving, Jordan was my taster for my dressing, and sweet potato pies. He told me to put some more seasoning in the dressing. I added some more sage, and gave it to him to taste. He put a thumbs up. He liked the sweet potato pie filling so much, until he asked me to put some in a bowl for him to eat before I baked the pies.

Jordan has some of his mom and his dad’s ways. Tamika and James loved to cook. When I picked Jordan up, he brought some pie that his dad had baked. It was delicious. James is an excellent cook. He and Tamika used to compete to see who cooked the best. James’ baking let me know that he is touching happiness again.

What else was different this year?

I let go of some things, and some people. My daughter’s best friends are like family to me. When Mika passed; holding on to her friends made me feel as though Mika was still here. But this year, her friends did not call or text. Neither did I call or text them; and for some odd reason, it felt right. I still love her friends dearly; but, I needed to cut the cord. It is time to let go of what was, and reach for the endless possibilities of what shall be. This press for new feels wonderful.

After Mika passed away, I began to feel self-conscious about my holiday cooking. But this year was different. I cooked while listening to, Jonathan McReynolds song, ‘Smile (Life Room),’ repeatedly on my phone. Singing, “I can’t help but smile. Cause I realize what you’ve done for me. All those battles you won for me. And someday soon you’ll come for me….. And no pain, no hurt, and no misery, can take away my smile.” That song made me smile and revived a, ‘Thank you Lord,’ in me. Joy permeated the atmosphere and overrode any feelings of insufficiency.

Can you relate? Have you ever listened to a song that helped you? Feelings of glee from singing and listening to ‘Smile,’ seeped into my preparing the food. The joy of cooking Thanksgiving dinner returned.

Dinner was delicious.

I love watching my small close knit immediate family enjoy my meals. My oldest grandson, Jordan, loved the collard greens. He asked for a second plate with just greens, and two more slices of sweet potato pie. My fifteen month old grandson, Million, loved the beef roast and dressing. He kept wanting more as his daddy fed him. My four year old great niece, Milani called the turkey, “Chicken.” She told my niece Loriel, “Mommy, I want some more chicken.”

Maurice (aka Biggie), my ten year old great nephew helped make the potato salad. He reminds me of my Uncle Andrew, who lived in Carbondale, Illinois. Uncle Andrew was an excellent cook. When he came to our home years ago for a funeral, he cooked a feast. Pies, cakes, banana pudding, etc.

This Thanksgiving felt like a new beginning. 

We all ate, laughed and talked. The children played and wrestled. The men talked about sports, while Lori and I caught up. Though it was an enjoyable Thanksgiving, the enemy brought a brief bad vibe. It was so minute until it is not worth describing. Just know that our joy overrode it, and we had a glorious time. Thank you Jesus!

Justin ate so much, until he patted his stomach for relief. He said, “Mama, what did you do different this year? The food is so good.” Ryan is such a comedian. He told jokes and giggled as usual. He asked for the turkey leg. I fixed him a heaping plate. He gobbled it all up, and said that he couldn’t eat any more, because he had to go to his mom’s and eat again. Mel ate as he fed Million. Loriel loved the macaroni and cheese. She joyfully talked about how her mama always asked her to hand her things as she cooked. But, she never really watched to learn. So she asked me for the macaroni and cheese recipe. I told Loriel, it was a combination of Sweetie Pie’s and one of my old employee’s recipes. My heart was filled with glee to spend Thanksgiving with my deceased sister’s daughter, and two of her grandchildren.

Lamont ate his food, and inserted his usual negative critique. As he woofed down the sweet potato pie, he said that it was too sweet. It never fails. Lamont will always find something bad to say. But, we laughed at him and said, “If the pie is too sweet, you sure are eating it!” He smiled and replied, “All of you are going to end up with diabetes.”

After three hours or so, Loriel, Maurice and the children left. Ryan went to his mom’s. I dropped Jordan to his dad’s grandparents’ house. Lamont stayed and talked with Justin and Mel. As I drove back home from taking Jordan to his dad, I thanked and praised God for family, friends, food and life.

Lamont stayed awhile longer, and talked with my sons. Then he sat in the kitchen and talked to me, as I put the food away, and prepared the dishes to be washed. It felt good to not have the tension of old. I really believe, Lamont and I have gotten to the place where we were before we became romantically involved. Just two friends having an intelligent conversation. He and I grew up together, and lived on the same street. When he left, he hugged me and said, “Thanks a lot my friend, I’ll see you soon.”

Some pains are overridden by joy.

That night, I went to bed, exhausted. My feet and legs hurt terribly; but, I felt wonderful mentally and spiritually. I smiled and thanked God for such a wonderful day with family and friends. I truly believe God is doing a new thing in my life, and in my sons’ and grandsons’ lives. We have progressed to a place of not allowing our missing Mika to control our lives and dampen our happiness. Better days have arrived; and plenty more are on the horizon.

Thank you Lord for this new place in our lives. Thank you Lord for allowing me to see a revival of my thanks. As I type this post, an old song has dropped in my spirit. “Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Since I laid my burdens down! Glory! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Since I laid my burdens down!” The scripture in my spirit today is, “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” ‭‭1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:18‬ ‭KJV‬‬

My friends, thank you for joining me today. I pray you had a Happy Thanksgiving, you see a revival in your ‘Thanks,’ and you are enjoying life.  We will talk soon.

Blessings!

Rochelle