Originally posted 2019-05-30 12:56:11.
Hi!
Why does the news of someone being controversial or competitive automatically trigger negative thoughts? Perhaps controversial and competitive people cause unease in others. But, why? Does having either of these traits automatically relegate someone to being unpleasant? Is it because many people assume these types of people are troublemakers?
It shouldn’t. Competitive people like to win. That is not a bad desire. Especially when it comes to playing a game or being in a race. In those instances, the purpose of participating is to win. How many people do you know who run a race to lose? 
Many get into races just to accomplish the goal of entering. But do they really want to lose?
Perhaps not. It is something about winning that comes with a good feeling. That is why competitiveness does not discriminate.
People who are competitive do not pick and choose the situation that warrants their need to win. They just like winning; period. It generally is not for malicious reasons. It is just the nature of the beast; or shall we say, “The nature of the one who is adamant about wining.”
I believe, these types of people do not limit themselves to competition against others. They, my friends, use themselves and their own latest victory as the gauge in comparison. For instance,
I personally enjoy doing better at assignments today than I did yesterday. Can you relate?
Competitiveness happens in any environment.
I get so tickled in church, when the men of God give extra, to outdo what other men give. I know, you are probably thinking, “They should not be giving to be seen!” If that is your thought, you are absolutely right. But, perhaps they give out of generosity, without thinking about who is watching.
Maybe their competitiveness has nothing to do with who hears the amount they give. Maybe they give to please God, AND they give the extra, because they hate to come in second. Yes, that seems like self-gratification. But, the underlying driver is competitiveness. Is that so bad? I really don’t think it is. No one is hurt by the men’s friendly desire to outdo each other.
I hear you saying, “What about pride?” You have a good point. Let’s talk about it.
Competitive people have to beware of the culprit called, ‘pride!’ When that cruel enemy creeps in, it has the ability to taint innocent competition with anger, jealousy, and bitterness. When competition is mixed with those three toxic sidekicks, a person will find pseudo joy in other’s dismay from loss.
If by chance the competitive person loses; pride just may cause the loser to start a fight, 
and become the forced dominator. That is totally different from having joy in friendly competitiveness. Here are a few scriptures on pride:
“Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” Proverbs 13:10 KJV
“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.” Proverbs 16:18-19 KJV
What about those who are labeled as being controversial? Is that a bad stigma?
Disagreements are normal. Oftentimes, prolonged disagreements occur when those who disagree feel strongly about their stance. The problem comes when the opposer is a rebel without a cause. Some people like to argue and challenge people just for the joy of it. Others have an argumentative spirit, and may not even be aware of it. Much prayer is needed in these instances.
Wow! This just dropped in my spirit: “Lord, I hope that is not me. Show me when my beating a dead horse is over the top. Let me know when I need to let things go.”
But, when you are certain that your point needs addressing; what is wrong with maintaining your position? Nothing! Especially when you are standing for what is right. If Rosa Parks had not refused to surrender her seat to a white passenger on a segregated bus in Alabama, black people might still be riding on the back of the bus.
What do you do when your reputation of being competitive and/or controversial repels people?
Change? Yes or No? Pray? Yes! There is a lot to you. You love God. You are humble, you are anointed, and you are intelligent. You might be well educated. Yet, you are able to have competitiveness in you, or be controversial without any iota of malice in you. You enjoy winning.
You are not the type who intentionally offend or cause strife. What do you do?
Pray! Ask God to show you to yourself. Ask God to let you see the good, bad and ugly parts of you. Ask God to give you wisdom when interacting with others. Ask God to help you be comfortable with you. Ask God to help you to become or continue being ingratiating. Ask God for the gift of discernment, so you will know when people shun you because of jealousy, insecurity, intimidation, or other reasons beyond you. Only God Knows. Pray!
My friends, if competitiveness and controversy knock on your door from time to time, find the good in them. Discard the bad. Spring beyond every wall that hinders you from walking in freedom, joy and victory.
Thank you for joining me today. We will talk soon.
Blessings!
Rochelle
