Originally posted 2020-10-15 09:47:36.
Hi!
How many times have you heard the old idiom, “Misery loves company?” I have found it to be more than a cliche. One might say that there is much accuracy in that commonly used phrase.
Some emotionally distressed people take pleasure in seeing others’ forlorn. Why? Why do people love to see others in the same state of dysphoria as they are in? Is it due to malice? Meanness is not always the case. There are lots of unhappy people in this world who look for like-mindedness when they interact with others. Maybe miserable people look for fellowship.
Is the pandemic the reason why disdainful people seek to find someone to relate to?
Many ascribe people’s inconsolable demeanors to the uncertainties and losses they experienced due to COVID-19. That thought process is accurate for some. But as I risk being accused of downplaying the global pandemic’s impact on the world; think about something with me.
How often have you interacted with people who are cynical, hostile or attitudinal? The current calamities of the world might not be the root cause of their meanness. Perhaps this season’s atmospheric troubles only exacerbate some people’s nasty behaviors. They were rude and cantankerous years before 2020. Do you know anybody like that?
Maybe so! But there is a flip side!
Though some people act as if they were forced to drink sugarless lemonade their entire lives, they might not want you to be rancorous like them. Everyone does not want others to feel their disdain. Perhaps they cannot help but emit bitterness in every atmosphere they step into. Maybe their rudeness camouflages pain and sadness. They might not intend to hurt you.
Their impudence may have caused others to shun them; which brought about loneliness and pain. As a result, they unknowingly bring out sorrow in others. They even connect with depression, despondency or gloom in others.
These types of linkings can occur whenever people look, listen or talk. A sad song can stir up melancholy and cause you to cry. But, you listen to it repeatedly. Distressing stories are highlighted daily through the airwaves. Yet, we fail to stop watching the news. People post their ailments, pain, grief and disappointments on social media. We still scroll through timelines.
You my friend, be careful. Especially if you are fresh out of a heart wrenching relationship or in the midst of a family crisis. Dejection disguised by camaraderie seeks to reside in vulnerable people. Hurting people hook up with hurting people. Not to feel better; but, to avoid being alone in their pain.
Recipients of wounded people’s arrows must take heed!
You may experience a psychological punch from a brash verbal attack. If it comes from an acquaintance or stranger, it might not bother you. If it comes from a loved one, somebody you look up to or a person you secretly admire; you might feel the pain and frustration from the emotional jab. You may wonder what caused someone to treat you so callously.
You may initially blame yourself. The spirit of rejection pounces in to make you feel deserving of such treatment. But, when you begin to ponder over the ‘why’s’ of others’ distasteful dispositions towards you, “STOP!!” Pray! Examine yourself! Hear the Spirit of God! Then,say to yourself, “Oh no!!! Not today!! Let it go!!
Sometimes, it is better to not question the reason why people have foul dispositions.
I know you are saying, “Huh? Isn’t that being selfish?” Some of my own friends may be saying right now, “Rochelle what happened to your famous line? You’re the promoter of ‘Look past people’s faults and see their needs!’”
If you are thinking, “That’s a little self-concerned,” you have a point. But, what is wrong with not taking on the role of everybody’s Mr, Mrs. or Ms. “Fix My Life?” What is self-centered about you stopping to protect you? Don’t you think it is time? Maybe your discontentment and lack of joy come from you always absorbing attacks and wearing them. Give it to God, intercessor!
Grab hold of the words in Vicki Winans’ song, “Shake Yourself Loose!” Do it quick, fast and hurriedly. Because, negativity, sadness and discontentment are as contagious as the common cold.
Have you ever been in a wonderful, joyous mood, and you called or texted somebody who has an overwhelming displeasure for life? Did their bitterness flow through the phone? The tone in their voice or the words they typed were full of antagonism, sarcasm and negativity. Boy or girl, “Bye!”
Some people even get aggravated by your innocent questions or your view of a subject. They attempt to make you feel bad by accusing you or by expressing their opinion of the error in your viewpoint. Do not take it personal. I repeat! DO NOT take it personal. DO NOT receive people’s damaging words or let them take root in your spirit. Do not allow people’s frustrations with their lives rub off on you. Just pray for them, and look at it this way:
The spirit of misery is trying to recruit a buddy.
That is why you have to be selective about whose opinions you seek. Some people love you, and bluntly tell you the truth. It might initially cause you to feel bad. Once you pray about it, you will see the benefits. But…..
Esteem killers find fault in everything you do or say. You may only be talking to someone without asking their view, and they find a way to discount what you said. When you realize they have a spirit of disagreement on them, do not let that pessimistic spirit sway you. When people attack your knowledge and intent, let the darts roll off you like water on a freshly waxed car.
How?
Keep your armor on. Here’s a text to help. Ephesians 6:10-17 says: “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:” KJV
Make the decision to hold on tight to your joy.
Hang out in the Word of God. Find scriptures on contentment and joy. Meditate on them. Find things to be joyful about. When I see my grandsons, in person or through pictures and videos; joy comes. When I hear my sons say, “Hey MAMA! or HEY GIRL!” joy comes. When I get a text from my childhood BFF, saying something funny about her husband, children or grands, joy comes. By the way, my BFF’s name happens to be, “Joi!” Look at God!
When I glance outside and see the blue skies or the trees, joy comes. When I hear the birds chirping or an airplane soaring in the sky, joy shows up. When I read a hilarious Facebook post or inbox message, I laugh. Laughter eases pain and frustration. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” KJV YOU, my friend must find joy and keep joy flowing in your life!
Wow!! A song just came to mind. “Still have my joy! Still have my joy! After all the things I’ve been through, I still have my joy!”
What about contentment?
That too!! Scripture says in Philippians 4:11, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” KJV The key word is ‘learned.’ You have to find the life lessons in your seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years.
Grab hold of patience. Let go of grieving over things you did not accomplish in your life. Forgive yourself, set new goals and work towards them. Be confident in the faithfulness of the God of Heaven. Be confident in the gifts and talents God has given you. Use them with gladness.
My friend, enjoy your moments. Discover you! Laugh at you! Like you! Love you! Push you forward! Pray without ceasing. Discover God’s hand on your life! Except God’s Will. Surrender your Will to God’s Will. Be patient with God’s timing. By all means, realize the importance of you being confident and joyful!
Thank you for spending time with me today. I will talk to you soon.
Blessings!
Rochelle 🌹
